Onward to the kingdom of heaven you go. Never will I know, those fingers and toes. Cursed with a womb, so hollow. Where the ticking clock had somehow broke. I failed you from the start. I heard not, your beating heart. I could not cradle you in my arms. To sing you to sleep and protect you from harm. Hear the pitter patter of feet, come to a quickening halt. Never will you crawl. Never will you walk. God gave to you, hummingbird wings. To fly from here, to eternity. Where you’ll sleep ever so soundly. shrouded in his light and promised safety. Until the day comes when we will meet. Among the clouds. Among the trees.
By: Lindsay Allison Lujan / March 18th 2016 / AGE 26
Author’s Note: I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the demons inside of me that I have to face. I’ve been suffering from writers block for the last few years and I’ve recently realized the reasoning behind that. It’s the fact that I would rather suppress my issues than face them. I was a much stronger individual back in the day and I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way. This poem was inspired by my medical condition. For the last seven years I have suffered from a condition called Prolactinoma. Short hand version of this condition is that it is a pituitary tumor that sits at the base of your brain. The biggest issue that it causes is infertility. I have not had a menstrual cycle in over seven years and it has caused many inner complexes but mainly the fact that I don’t know how I feel about living as a barren woman. I will touch more on this topic at a later date when I’ll have more answers.